Promise Me, Befriend Me
by Shrapnel893
Summary: Annie Leonhart has always seen the world in a certain light. Dark shades of reds and browns consume her soul and drown her in cruelty. The bloodlust is insatiable and a torment to control.
1. Scum of the World

**|. Scum of the World**

_"Just let me ask you one thing," he said, head bowed and hands on her shoulders, "I want you to treat the whole world, this cruel world, as your enemy."_

What makes a person "good"? Is it the heart that beats within their chest, unclogged and untarnished, or, is it the brain that resides inside their head, ever thinking and always working?

_"Even if... even if the whole world will curse and resent you, remember that your father will always, always, _always_, be on your side."_

These giants called Titans, why does one consider them "bad"? Is it that they oppose humanity, consuming flesh and bone mindlessly, without purpose, or, is it because one has become so blurred in their hatred, that all they can see is a threat to their existence?

_"So please, promise me you'll come back."  
_

Walking down the steps, Annie could see the other fresh recruits lined before her on the floor below, at attention, like good little soldiers, ready to serve their king. Though, as she silently looked them over, were any of them really "good"?

"Oh, you're finally up..." the girl on the far end yawned, glancing up. Lazy and rude, Annie recalled her name being Hitch. She decided to not respond, instead taking position next to her. The girl continued to talk, "Sorry, Annie, didn't want to wake you cause' your sleeping face is real scary."

"You've been slacking off too much lately," the boy next to Hitch said. From his voice, Annie could tell that it was Marlo. He reminded her of Marco, in his noble intent with duty and service. She didn't respond to him either.

"Hey?" Hitch was still talking, and she leaned in close, bending down to look up into Annie's face. She ignored her, the best option that so far was working for her. "_Heeey..._" She smiled, a mocking smile that Annie resented, "You ain't mad at me, are you?"

"What an unsociable person," Marlo commented, the tone in his voice irritated Annie as much as Hitch's face made her want to punch it.

"Leave her alone," someone else interjected, but at that point she was already blocking them out. "She came back alive from _that_ Trost District, after all."

She remembered Trost, the chaos that had ensued during it and its aftermath. Her mind went briefly back to scenes of the battle: people being killed and people doing the killing; she had killed her fair share as well. That had been... _enjoyable_ too, killing them; all of them, she resolved, were "bad". None among those she killed had been "good". As she listened to the recruit, she wondered, was he "good", or was he "bad"? She deeply hated that side of her, the side she couldn't control. It was painful, the bloodlust. _Mina, what should I...?_

"She's the only one at our station who's had actual combat experience," he continued, keeping his voice level, "So there's no way she's recovered from that horror yet. She saw only hell recently, so don't give her anymore. Ok?"

She had her answer with that: he was "bad", and in that sense, normal. Normal like her, scum, like all of them present. Though, there were people outside this realm of "normal", as she now decided to label it, that held interest to her. People with a firm sense of righteousness, the "good" people, they intrigued her, and it was... _enjoyable _learning more about them. Just as enjoyable as killing the scum of the world; a cruel world full of "normal" people like herself. "Scum," she said under her breath as the commander entered to brief them on their mission for the day. She was scum, they were all pieces of shit floating around in a cesspool. She truly hated herself for the way she thought.

The morning air was fresh, full of the smell of the new season. It was the first thing she felt as she walked outside with the rest of the recruits in single file, listening to the sound of her boots on the Wall.

"What the heck does he think he's doing?!" Marlo complained, pacing around, hands on his hips. "Passing the whole mission onto new recruits not even a month in the force and not even bothering to give any instructions!"

"Yeah, the senior staff of this organization are rotten beyond imagination," Hitch answered, sighing as she leaned against a wall, "That was the reason why I chose to join it in the first place..." she continued, proceeding to kick an empty bucket that bounced off an adjacent wall, "But, they're dumping their work onto us new recruits, and as long as you're still a newbie, you'll get more than your fair share, huh..." She stared at the bucket. "I didn't take that into account."

"Worthless trash!" Annie heard Marlo grumble. "Scum who can only think about themselves!"

"Marlo, you wanna say you're any different?" another voice chimed in, joining the discussion. It was the boy who had spoken up on her behalf earlier. "You're the same as them, since you chose to join the Military Police and all."

She heard Marlo scuff at his comment, raising his voice. "I am different! Don't lump me together with scum like you!"

_Scum. _There was that word, scum. Annie turned to look at him now, intrigued by what he had to say.

Marlo still had his hands on his hips as he continued to talk, "I joined the Military Police to uphold justice and to do what's right!" he exclaimed, which prompted a laugh from Hitch.

"_Eh?_ Wow, Marlo! So you're actually one of those righteous guys, huh?"

_Righteous. _There was that other word.

"And how do you plan on doing that?" the boy asked, stepping forward.

"I need to stand at the top for that, and till I climb up there I'll do what I'm ordered to, even if it means I'll have to become scum in the process." Marlo explained, clenching his hand into a fist. "But, once I'm at the top, I'll make them all earn their keep, and I'll make sure to repay them all in full for pilfering taxes and misappropriating the land."

His reasons, they intrigued her. "Does that mean you or your relatives have been put through the things you mentioned?" she interjected, her mind putting together what she was going to say based on his response.

He was quiet for a moment as he thought about it. "No, but..."

She stared at him with unfeeling blue eyes, as her opinion slowly shifted back to her earlier evaluation of him as "normal", and therefore, scum. Just like them all.

"Everybody knows those talks about their evil doings are true," he finally said, raising his hands in emphasis. "Anyway, I won't go as far as have them die for their sins, but I'll make them taste humiliation one way or another. I'll change those mindless animals crapping everywhere they go irrespective of time and place," he clenched his open palm back into a fist, becoming more animated with his words, "Back into normal human beings, that's all I want. To return them to what humans are supposed to be originally."

_Normal._ There it is. That word. Annie closed her eyes as she gathered her response into words to tell, as Hitch fell to the floor in laughter at his words.

"Oh boy!" she cried, slapping her hand on the ground and clutching her stomach. "You're the real deal! Here I thought you were just another borin' dude! I gotta apologize for that!"

Yes, Annie thought, she would have to agree to a certain extent. But that was where she drew the line, and she gathered the remainder of her thoughts as the other boy responded.

"That's a grand and high goal you have there, good luck achieving it," he said, smiling.

"You're wrong." She stepped forward, eyes centered on Marlo's face as everyone stared at her as if noticing her presence for the first time, "If a 'good' guy like you manages to talk the helm, that's what'll be our true undoing."

"Huh...? I thought you didn't want to talk anymore?" Marlo replied, looking down at her. "If you have something to say, let's hear you say it."

She waited a moment before explaining herself; her thoughts. "I think that you're a 'righteous' person who says 'righteous' things." She shifted on her feet, looking through him at a memory. "Such people do exist, and I'm well aware of that." It was a memory of a fight between Eren and Jean three years ago, when they had first started their training. "Going against the tide requires extraordinary courage, and I respect that, even if it's probably nothing but foolishness. What is clear, is that such people are a rarity. They're not common, and they're not what you call 'normal'. People like you are called _'special'_. On the other hand, how people like us should be called, the people who put their personal gain over others, if those around them act unjustly, they just go with the flow." She looked towards the ground for a moment. "You called those people scum, trash, and evil; _worthless._ Among the trainees I knew, the majority were this same kind of scum and 'bad' people, aiming to join the Military Police."

"You sure love beating around the bush, huh?" Marlo interrupted. "So then, what's your point? You want to say that people like you aren't bad people?"

"No. I, too, think those people like me are scum and are, most definitely, 'bad' people," she looked up at him, "I can't consider them righteous at all, and that," she skipped a beat, "Is what _'normal'_ people are, don't you think?" He didn't respond. In fact, nobody did, they were all silent as they listened to her go on, "You're saying that innately all people are _'good'_ persons, and that if they were to just assume their nature, their organization wouldn't be so rotten, correct?" She glanced up at the sky, as if searching for something in the clouds above. "But in my opinion, the structure of this organization, the way it's set up is what provides insight into what true human nature really is: that everyone is scum until proven otherwise. So, even if I'm a weakling who drifts with the stream, I'm still one of those 'normal' people you're talking about. That's all I have to say..."

"All, huh...?" Hitch's voice trailed off, sitting on her knees. She exhaled loudly, lying down. "That sure was one long winded speech. I mean, I'm already spent here just listening to it — bored to _tears._"

Annie didn't listen to the rest of the discussion. She tried recalling something she'd forgotten, and yet, she still couldn't do it. Suddenly, Marlo sprang into action, saying that they were just wasting time sitting here and decided to move out, motioning for everyone else to follow him. As they left to begin their mission, Annie heard someone whisper her name. It came from the right; a voice that she could immediately recognize anywhere. _Armin Arlert. _She stopped in her tracks, turning sharply on her heel to join him in the shadow of one of the buildings. He was wearing a cloak, or perhaps some type of raincoat, as she approached and instinctively put up her guard. "_Armin..._" she called out with surprise as she came level with him; face to face.

"Hey Annie, you're really a full fledged member of the Military Police now, aren't you," he greeted, his voice calm and equally suspicious. As she looked into his eyes, she saw his true intent almost immediately.

She was sad, _disappointed,_ but she decided to play along, despite being hurt. "_What's_... what's going on...?" she feigned surprise, pointing at his outfit. "What's with that getup?"

"Oh this?" he replied, looking down at himself. "I'm posing as a porter," he opened up his outfit, to reveal what was hidden underneath. "This raincoat is very handy for hiding 3D Gear. See?"

"Armin... what happened?"

Removing his hood, taking a step closer, there was a look of desperation on his face. Again, she was immediately weary. "_Annie..._" he started, "I wonder if you could..." he looked away, at the wall to the left of them, then back to her, "I was wondering if you could help Eren escape."

_S_he knew, deep down, that this would be the outcome eventually. Even so, she didn't meet his eyes, instead averting her gaze to the spot where he had looked seconds before. "Escape..._huh?" _She looked back at him, her unfeeling eyes showing a hint of her true emotions, for perhaps, the first time her sixteen years of living in this world.

_This cruel, __unfair, and lonely __world._


	2. Coaxing the Pain

**||. Coaxing the Pain**

"He'll only hide for the time being," Armin started, "And it's not like we're planning to disobey the King. Although I understand that it may appear like an act of treason by some members of the Scouting Legion." He clenched his outstretched hands into fists. "But we're just trying to buy some time to collect materials that would change the opinion of the Commission of Inquiry. I swear!"

Annie spread her footing out a bit more. "Materials that would change their opinion?" she said aloud, "Is there really something that influential? What do you base your claim on?"

Armin stood there for a moment, thinking of what to say, then lowered his head and stared at the ground. "Sorry, I can't tell you..."

Hesitation. Annie perked up in alarm, indicated only by a shifting of her feet closer together. She studied him for a second, staring into his eyes, closing her eyes before responding, "Then, I'm sorry too..." she softly whispered. Then, raising her voice a little, "But this isn't going anywhere like this." She turned on her heel to leave. "I won't tell anyone about this, so good luck trying your best on your own," she hollowly said over her shoulder, hoping that he would stop trying to coax her.

"Annie! I'm begging you! At this rate, Eren is going to be killed!" he shouted, starting after her. "By the people who don't understand anything, just for the sake of what they perceive as self-defense, the people who continue on the path leading to the destruction of the human kind without even realizing where they're going!"

Right, she agreed in her mind, people who don't understand.

"I-I know this doesn't sound convincing, but..." He reached out, grasping her wrist, "But, there is no way left other than to resort to taking this big risky gamble!"

_Don't touch me. Let go._

"It goes without saying that we'll try not to cause you too much trouble, but," he tightened his hold, "To pass the check inside Wall Sina we need help of someone from the Military Police, and there's no other way around it!"

She tightened the muscles in her forearm. _Let go already, or I'll..._

"We have no other options!" He started crying. "So please! _Annie!_"

Tears. She relaxed her muscles, peering from the corner of her eye at him. "Let go, Armin," she coldly commanded.

Armin did as he was told but didn't give up, "Annie, please..."

Turning her head so she could put him in full view, she watched as a tear slowly trickled its way down his cheek. "Do I... do I really look like such a 'good' person to you?" She fixed him with eyes full of wonder and intrigue, wanting to know his answer. He hesitated again before responding.

"A good person, huh..." he whispered, looking down. "Well, I don't really this way of putting it, because you know," his eyes were focused on the wall again, "I feel like those words are simply what people use to call others convenient to them."

Annie opened her mouth slightly to respond, but no words came out as she listened, looking down at the ground, away from him.

"And no one can be convenient to all. You may be useful to some people, but at the same time a bad person to others... that's why, Annie, if you don't help us now..."

She continued to focus her eyes on the ground, but they quickly shot back up at his next words.

"To _me_, you will turn into a bad person."

"Alright," she uttered softly, putting the ring her father gave her on, "I'll help you, Armin."

Walking, Annie listened to the sounds of her boots as she led her three fellow former trainees along, glancing around for any signs of danger. With the three of them looking so suspicious — raincoats in the middle of this heat that had swept through suddenly and with their hoods up — one could never be too careful, and she noticed that the number of people in the area besides themselves was getting smaller and smaller the farther they walked. It kept her on edge. A horse pulled cart passed them by as they came under a low archway. Behind it was a woman and her child, and as Annie looked over, she remembered her own mother. A hazy blur underneath the shadow of her imposing father. All she remembered, all she took pride in, was the training her father had given her, and as she looked at the mother and her child, all she felt was contempt and, deep down, a loneliness that she disregarded for nostalgia. Looking over at Armin, she could see the tension that he was trying to hide on his face, feeling eyes on the back of her head. She smiled faintly, barely even noticeable, at the dog who was so loyal to her handler. It was intriguing, she thought, for one to have such an unwavering devotion to another, and yet, it was pathetic at the same time. It was consuming Mikasa, engulfing her in flames and holding her down by chains so she couldn't escape it; in that, it was pathetic. The tension grew as she looked over again, a bead of sweat dropping from Armin's chin, and she felt the dog's eyes shift to the right, at her handler, and his eyes wandered; a signal.

"Surprisingly, they let us through with no problem," Eren started to say, but was shushed by Mikasa for being louder than necessary. He lowered his voice, "The whole time that I was in that carriage, they didn't even bother to check on me..." His voice sounded calm, but also fake and unsure of itself, as if he were telling a lie. Annie listened as Mikasa rebuked him.

"Don't look so shifty," she uttered in a rushed tone of voice, which quickly reverted back to its usual darker undertones. "That's the Military Police for you. Their infamous lack of _diligence_ in performing their routine duties really shows."

Annie slowed her pace as she felt a slight stab of insult at the dog's comment. She agreed with her, but also disagreed because not all of them were like that, certainly not herself, and it hurt a little to hear that.

"I only hope they don't discover Jean is posing as you."

"They're gonna find out soon enough." Annie heard Eren grunt in frustration. "To begin with, him and me look nothing alike..."

"It's ok, you two have similar build and that same vicious look in your eyes, so," Armin interjected, analytic as always, "Your typical bad guy mugs look similar."

"But I don't have a _horse _face like him!"

As Annie listened, there was a few things she needed to confirm. She looked over she shoulder, eyes on Armin. "If I hadn't agreed to help you, how did you plan to get past the Wall?"

Armin hesitated for a second, forming his words. "We were ready to use the 3D Gear to break through."

"Reckless, aren't you?" she commented, turning her head slightly to hide her smile; hair obscuring any noticeable reaction. "Why didn't you just organize the escape before entering the Stohess District? You could've ended it fast and easy instead of going through all the trouble." Her voice took a harder tone; her smile gone. "Why does it have to be here and now?" she finally asked, turning an eye back on Armin.

"I decided that we needed to make use of the complicated layout of this town for our plan with switching Eren for a double succeed," he answered immediately, as if he already had an excuse planned, "I thought that instead of opposing the order head on and escaping, we could buy more time to prepare Eren's escape if we obediently went with it for a while, making them loosen their guard."

Silence.

They kept walking, at a slow pace, and Annie noticed that the streets were getting narrower and devoid of people. This outcome was inevitable, she thought, given that Armin was involved. She waited a moment more before responding, watching out of the corner of her eye the last person besides themselves visible in the area.

"I see..." She turned again, her features giving away nothing of her suspicion except for a small frown that was quickly replaced with indifference. "Convincing enough." There was a side street that split from the main one and led them down it per Armin's insistence.

"Ah! Here it is!" he exclaimed, as they came up to an underground passage.

"Here...?" Annie asked, looking at the steps leading down as they gathered around it.

"Yep, we'll take this passage," he replied. "Some ruins of the underground city planned long ago still remain," he explained as he, Mikasa, and Eren started their way down. "This passage connects to an exit close to the outer gate."

"Really? Wow!" Eren exclaimed aloud, taking the lead.

"Taking the underground pathway is much safer than the streets above."

Annie watched as they went further down, listening to the sounds all around them. Hushed whispering, the shuffling of feet. Too bad, she thought, for it to come to this. The pain she felt was all too real though, despite how much she tried to deny feeling any at all... _What would you have done, Mina, in this situation if it presented itself to you...?_ Her heart hardened itself for what was to come next.


	3. Smile

**|||. Smile**

Armin made a sound as he looked up at her. "Annie?" he said as the other two turned around. Mikasa showed no visible emotion on her face, but Eren was scowling with frustration.

"What's wrong with you?" he called up to her. "Don't tell me you're scared of dark, confined spaces!"

"Yes, I am. I'm scared. I'm not like you," she started to say, clenching the hand with her father's ring tightly at her side. "I'm not a brave, reckless guy who's in a hurry to die," she put a hand to her chest, "There is no way someone like you—" her eyes shifted to Armin as she saw the accusing look in his eyes; it hurt, "—Can understand the feelings of a frail, weak girl like me!"

Eren turned back to the passage, not wanting to hear it. "A girl who can send big burly men flying with a single kick is not weak," he growled, obviously frustrated. "Cut the nonsense and let's get going!"

"If you're not going to take the surface route, then I won't help you." There was a beat of silence as Eren stopped walking. Mikasa and Armin were still staring at her. She waited.

"_Wh—!_" Eren spun around, grinding his teeth. "What the hell are you saying?! Don't fuck with me! Get down here, _now! _" Eren roared, stepping forward.

Mikasa halted him by putting an outstretched arm in front, barring his way. "Eren! Don't shout!"

Annie turned her eyes toward Mikasa now; the dog. "Why not, Mikasa?" she asked, full of contempt, seeing a hint of surprise on the other girl's face. That was all the confirmation she needed now: "For some reason," she questioned, turning her head to look at the narrow side street around them; the lack of people. "There's been no one around us for a while now." She could still hear shuffling and took note of all the places were she heard the sounds. Tightening her muscles, she clenched her fists, proceeding to look at the ground beneath her boots. She sighed, "I'm hurt, you know? Since when did you start looking at me with _those_ eyes?" she asked, as she saw Armin gulp. Those eyes, full of warmth and trust, were now full of suspicious and disbelief; _determination, _and, buried underneath, _hate__._

"Annie, how come you were in possession of Marco's 3D Gear?" he asked, his voice shaky.

Annie averted her eyes, turning her head to the side as if something else had caught her eye down the street. She chose not to respond, not wanting to see the mixed looks of contempt and hurt on their faces.

"I remembered the little scratches and dents," Armin continued, his mind flashing back to memories of Marco, "Because him and me performed routine maintenance on our Gears together. From that, I knew it was his."

"I-I see," Annie replied quietly, listening to the sounds around her. The movement. "I just—" The words drifted from her throat as she eased back into the street, spreading her feet further apart, but only enough so it looked as if she were buckling under guilt and not having switched her stance to a more defensive one. Taking a quick glance at Armin, she finished her sentence, "—Found it." She watched as his eyes widened in some revelation.

"_Then—!_ The one who killed those two Titans the Scouting Legion captured alive... was _you_, Annie?"

Annie lowered her eyes at the ground again. "Maybe, maybe not, but," she looked up, towards the sky, "If you came to all these conclusions a month ago," she turned her gaze to Armin, staring into his eyes, "Then _why?_ Why didn't you take action right then?"

Armin just stood with his mouth agape, and seconds passed before he stumbled an answer. "I still can't believe it, even now. I had thought there was a mistake somewhere in my train of thought! I wanted to think there was...!" He looked down, not wanting her to see his tears. "That's why... that's why I didn't—! _But—!_" his voice was hoarse as his mind traveled back to the first time he had realized it was her, "It's because you didn't kill me when you had the chance that things turned out the way they are now!"

Averting her gaze again, Annie looked down the street again. It was then that she remembered the first time she'd seen him cry. The truth behind why she'd reacted so harshly to Armin's crying the first time wasn't that it had annoyed her, but that it had upset her, and she realized this back then, but only acknowledged it now, as she skipped a beat before responding to him.

"Yeah..." her voice trailed off as she looked at the ground again, "From the bottom of my heart I agree. I couldn't have even imagined that _you_ would track _me_ down and corner me here." _No_, of course she had thought of the possibility. She tried preventing a smile from forming on her face, making it come out as a crooked grin. Tilting her head to take a side glance at his face, she continued, her crooked grin turning into a blank expression, masking her sadness, and, the sudden tinge of appraisal she felt for him. "That time, why didn't I kill you, I wonder..." she questioned aloud, clenching one of her hands into a fist.

"Hey! Annie! There's still a chance!" Eren yelled. "That you're just an unfortunate idiot who thoughtlessly backed up some asswipe's shitty joke!" He stepped forward, reaching out his hand for her to take. "Anyway, come down here already!" Removing his hood, he reached further. "You can prove it to us just by entering this passage! So just come down here and prove it! _Come on!_"

"I can't go there," Annie said, raising a hand to halt him, then proceeding to stare down at it as she pulled it back. "I'm... I'm a failure as a warrior."

Eren slammed his fist on the wall, taking another step forward. "I told you already! Don't be a fool!"

"Talk to us Annie! We can still settle this by talking to each other!" Armin exclaimed, also taking a step forward.

"_Enough._" The stern voice of Mikasa halted the two of them in their tracks. She removed her raincoat, tossing it aside along with the pack she was carrying. "I can't stand listening to this anymore," she proclaimed, staring up at Annie with a cold determination and purpose, pulling out one of her blades. "This leads us _nowhere!_" Poising the blade at her side, she brandished it at her target, "I'll cut you into pieces once again," she kept her eyes trained on Annie, watching for any sudden movements, "_Female-__T__ype Titan!_"

Annie turned her attention from the two who had been trying to reason with words and instead cast her eyes on the dog that bared her fangs. She was waiting for Mikasa to say something, and it looks as if she wouldn't be _disappointed. _Her mouth forming into a grin, she couldn't contain the sensations she felt when she looked into the dog's hateful eyes. It was different than Armin's, and it _intrigued_ her to no end. She couldn't help but... _s__mile._

"Armin," she called out, staring into his blue eyes, "Aren't you glad?" She flashed her teeth. "Aren't you lucky that I was such a 'good' person to _you_? For now, you won the gamble." Her father's gold ring shining in the sun, she acted as if she were going to bite her finger. "But, what _I_ gambled on is only just _starting!_" Moving her other hand to her 3D Maneuver Gear, she then inched the finger closer to her mouth, and as Armin shot off the signal flare, quickly glanced to the sides. Sliding one of her blades out of its metal sheath in one swift movement, she spun on her heel and tore through clothing, skin, muscle, and bone as it cut across.

Their blood sprinkled her body, she pointed the red tinted blade down at the corpses. All the excitement caused had it to appear again; that smile. Without looking up, she addressed them. "Do you see now? There is no way someone like you can understand the feelings of a frail, weak _girl_ like me," she said as her smile widened, "And I really am a _frail_ and _weak_ warrior." _It hurts_. "And now, you've forced my hand." She could feel Mikasa's murderous eyes.

"I knew I should have killed you back then, you—"

"_Monster_?" Annie finished for her. She was swimming in excitement at the dog's hatred, but as a tear rolled down her cheek – it stung. _It hurts_. The urges just wouldn't stop once they've started.

"I'll finish what _I_ started back then, and kill you here and now!" Mikasa hollered up to her.

"A fight between _two_ _monsters_, huh?" Glancing at the bloodied weapon in her hand, she remembered Mina's homely, and friendly, face. _It hurts._ "Then I'll go along, so come on!" She had barely gotten the last of her words out before Mikasa shot up the stairs with all the fury of hell behind her and watched a now distant Mikasa. Impacting with a tower, her wire hook biting hungrily into the stone and feet firmly planted, she quickly glanced back to see exactly what she had expected: Mikasa was coming up behind her and _fast_. She could felt the air from behind as it was sliced in two with a blade and exhaled as she landed on the roof and tumbled to steady herself, she remembered her father and the promise. _Come back_.

She tumbled out of the way as Mikasa tried to attack her from above and now facing one another, "This is a continuation of our fight from back then," she said, leaning a bit on her blade. "To see which of us is the better _monster_," looking away briefly, the cannons were aimed at their position from atop the Wall, "Because I wouldn't call us human. Right, Ackerman?"

"Right." Mikasa replied darkly, pointing her blade at her. "We'll continue that fight from before."

Annie lifted her blade as Mikasa charged, sparks fling as metal struck metal. She blocked another strike, then a second, then a third. The blows were overbearing and Annie knocked her back when the dog managed to slash her uniform. Mikasa broke the fall and went for her jaw with a kick. Catching it, Annie spared no hesitation in twisting her ankle and moving back. Wiping a trickle of blood from her chin as she got up, there was no weapon in her hand and she cracked her knuckles. Hand to hand combat.

Annie watched carefully as Mikasa came around at her side and blocked a swift jab at her left, then another. She stretched her leg out and swiped up high in order to create enough distance between the two of them. She'd already anticipated the outcome: the dog was a lot stronger than herself and the fight wouldn't last long if it continued like this. She was positive that she could fight her off and escape, but she didn't want to be exhausted by the time she reached her target. Crouching as Ackerman went for a high kick, Annie dived under her leg and came up behind her; locking her arms around her shoulders and neck. Using the momentum of Mikasa's kick, she kicked her other leg from under her and spun her over her shoulder. As Mikasa lay on her back, Annie ran to the edge of the roof and tried to pin-point where the tunnel was quickly.

This time she wouldn't let him escape. This was what she's gambled on, after all. A tear rolled down her cheek as she bit down on her finger, drawing blood_. It was warm._


	4. Tears

**|V. Tears**

Desperation rising, eyes searching, feelings burning. Annie glanced quickly all around at the cannons positioned on the Wall and instinctively covered the nape of her neck. She had found Eren inside the tunnel and had almost gotten him – this second time she'd make sure her hand came back with him clasped inside. Peering down at the street, she wondered where they'd be this time, and left her hand along the stone pavement for any small signs of movement that could be felt. There was nothing. _Were they not moving at the moment_? Her eyes widened before she caught a glimpse of what she feared as it slammed into her jaw and sent her flying into a building. The impact had obliterated her jaw and it steamed as it slowly regenerated itself. She looked up into the sky as she lay on top of the building and the memory she'd forgotten flashed through her mind.

_Annie didn't really understand why Mina would want to know such miscellaneous things about her and just decided to take a sip of her soup. It tasted horrible, but it kept her attention enough so she didn't have to listen to the annoying pig-tailed girl across the table. She was about to take another sip when Mina's next words froze the spoon halfway to her mouth._

_"As friends."_

Friends?_ She didn't have any friends. Annie looked up. "What do you mean '_as friends_'? We aren't anything of the sort. You just sit by me and start random talks about nothing important."_

_"That's what friends do, and, Annie, I view you as my number one friend here!" Mina exclaimed happily, then pouted childishly. "But I wish you'd at least talk to me once in awhile! It's like I'm talking with myself most of the time — do you remember when I told you that I improved my balance with the 3D Maneuver Gear recently?"_

_Annie wasn't paying any attention. _Friends?_ She viewed Annie as her number one friend in the Trainee Squad? "Why?" she asked, confused and irritated at the same time._

_"So I can get in the top ten!" Mina replied, waving a hand. "I've always wanted to—"_

_"Why do you consider me your number one friend?"_

_"Oh, that! Isn't it simple?" she said, leaning forward again, "I like talking to you, and I believe that underneath that quiet exterior is a great person just ready to burst out!" Her smile was wide and almost blindingly happy. "I want us to become best friends, Annie!"_

_"No." She was getting very irritated now. She didn't need any friends. "I don't accept you as my friend."_

As the memory faded, Annie felt a tear well at the corner of her eye. _Why_? It was then that she remembered Mina's face again. _Why, dammit_? Friends, she hadn't wanted to admit it then, but Mina was in fact a friend to her, and had not only been that, but her _best_ friend. The tear rolled down her cheek and evaporated in the heat that was emanating from her jaw. _Mina... _Annie sat up and shook her head then looked down at the damage she had done to the building – she had crushed it and the people inside. Underneath one of her hands was a dead woman with blonde hair and blue eyes and she was immediately reminded of her mother. _It hurts._

Annie didn't want to see her mother now — not at a time like this. Getting up slowly, she took one last glance at the dead woman before starting off at a dead sprint down the street. She could hear soldiers behind her as they gave chase — but her only thoughts were what was right in front of her. The Wall. Hearing them shout and curse, she stopped suddenly and swiped the tops of the buildings closest to her, watching as debris rained down on the startled soldiers and townspeople. She didn't want to hurt anyone down there, but she had to get away. She was about to turn back to the Wall when a blur flew across her vision and slashed at her nose – causing deep gashes that bled and steamed profusely. Snapping her head at the culprit, she saw the familiar face of the dog as Mikasa Ackerman glared hatefully back. The world went dark.

Annie cupped her massive hands around her two eye sockets, blind and semi oblivious to what was going on around her. The blood pooling out of the two holes and streaming down the sides of her face, she knew she couldn't stay like this forever, leaving the nape of her neck unprotected. Mikasa would use that to her advantage. Knowing this, she strike out so nobody would come near enough to try and attack her as she focused all her regeneration on her left eye — the one furthest away from Mikasa's viewpoint. Annie had heard the general direction of where Mikasa had landed; her wire as it retracted; the sounds of her boots on the shingles of the roof. The sounds around her had become amplified in her desperation to regain her sight and she slammed into the side of a building, destroying part of it. She didn't care, all she cared about was living. If she was going to do that, she'd need her sight back. That was her only concern. As she continued to flail about, another memory surfaced in her mind.

_Left, right, left, right, left, right. Swing. Going through the motions, that was all she could do. The training was too tiring. It hurt. Her arms, they were heavy. She was tired. It hurt. Left, right, left, right. Swing. So tired. Sweating so much. She couldn't stop, though, because her father was watching. She had to keep going; she had to keep swinging; she had to keep doing the left and right motions. Anger, fury, rage. It rose up from the bottom of her gut into her heart, making everything dark. This training was too much. She couldn't take it anymore._

_Out of the corner of her eye, her father was silently watching. Like a statue, he was still. Like a statue, he was unmoving. A thing chiseled from stone that was cold and unfeeling. Her father just silently watched. Every time she would take a swing, his brow became furrowed. He didn't like her swings. They were weak, they were pathetic. They were useless, they were no good. She wasn't trying hard enough. She was a disgrace. Water started to fill her eyes; she couldn't take it anymore. It hurt too much._

_Left, right, falter, slow, left, right, falter, slow. Stop. She couldn't go on anymore. Panting from exhaustion, sweating profusely. She couldn't continue swinging. Her father's face filled with anger. Why was she stopping? Why didn't she continue? She should keep going until she drops; she should keep going until she dies. A sweet voice, a woman's voice. Her mother. Let her rest. She's tired. Give her time and she'll get used to it. Don't be so harsh. She's your daughter. She's our precious child. Don't forget that. Her mother had tears in her eyes. The water that welled in the corners of Annie's eyes rolled down her cheeks; she was crying now too._

Annie looked down at one of her massive hands with one eye regenerated now. Clenching it into a fist, a tear rolled down the eye. Her mother. She'd forgotten that sweet voice. More memories came flooding back to her and it hurt. She couldn't keep them away, they were tearing her mind in two. She bellowed from the pain. _Mother__... _Wailing, Annie cradled her head and swung it around in a fit. She had forgotten her promise. She needed to keep her promise. Looking to the Wall, she remembered her promise: _she needed to go back_. One last chance, a fleeting moment. She had to do it.

Annie reached the end of the flatland and could hear it. Eren was gaining on her. She'd end his pursuit here. There was no other choice. Running in between the buildings, she waiting until he gained enough momentum to not be able to stop himself and twisted around on one of her massive ankles. Grasping the buildings for support and turning around to face him, she crouched down as she slide to a stop and lowered her gaze. _Mother. Father. _Turning her eyes back to Eren, she waited until he came within swinging distance. _I..._

The sound of repeated rhythms and practice came back to her. _I'm not strong, Father_. The smell of the outdoors, a smiling face. _I'm not sweet, Mother_. Black braids behind her back, that homely face. _Mina_.

Annie went down, falling off the Wall and landing hard onto the ground below, creating a shallow crater. She lied there for a moment, thinking _I'm sorry_ as Mikasa glared hatefully down upon her and Eren restrained her with a hold. Everything was over, everything was done. She failed. She had failed to get away. Another tear.

_Monsters don't deserve love, monsters don't deserve a savior, monsters don't deserve kindness. Killers don't have the right to love, killers don't have the right to a saviour, killers don't have the right to kindness_. _A monster and a killer, that's what I am. That's what I can't change. Father, Mother, Mina. I don't have the right to have people like you and you don't deserve to have a person like me! _

Eren ripped open the nape of her neck, revealing all that she was. All that she was through one tear. She recalled that homely face. That friendly smile; the hands that were willing to hold her own no matter what. Even if she were a monster, she couldn't just throw it all away, couldn't see herself abandoning it all. If she did, then she'd truly be a monster. A demon. Eyes fluttering open, she couldn't throw just it all away! She's already taken a step into hell, so what's a few more to her now?! All of these images of her life flashing, constricting her chest with a mix of every emotion imaginable.

_Promise me. I want us to be friends. Promise me that you'll come back_. _We'll be best friends! _

_Annie._

Even in a monster's heart, a demon's, there's purity. It shines brightly, uncut and untarnished at the pit of their soul, ready to be mined. Waiting to be uncovered. She was going to go back. She'd made a promise. She was going to be a better person. She'd learned from a best friend.

_Crystal_.


End file.
